Video Killed The Video Store

Posted by admin - 20/04/10 at 09:04 am

Dolph-o-riffic!The Blockbuster near my house is going out of business. I know that’s not really cause for alarm anymore, as that industry is taking a big hit.

These days, walking around a video store is a quaint little throwback to the bygone days of a few years ago. It’s like you’re transported back in time to a Starbucks, or you’re listening to a James Blunt song or something. It’s all 2005 in there.

Anyway, I strolled on down to the video store to see what was still for sale. Come to find out, their “going out of business” sale started a few weeks ago and most of the inventory was picked pretty clean.

Fair warning, when your Blockbuster goes out of business and sells out everything, at a certain point you’re left with a frighteningly high percentage of Dolph Lundgren movies.

Apparently, Dolph Lundgren has been in sixteen movies in the last decade. Who knew?

It’s amazing what’s left over at these places. It’s not that I’m surprised that some movies are still available, I’m astonished that some movies were actually made.

I’m not just talking about the umpteenth generations of Friday the 13th movies. Somehow, they made three “Slapshot” movies. Every crappy horror movie from the 90s spawned a couple of sequels, with each one getting farther and farther down the Hollywood food chain.

There, in my trembling hands, was a movie starring 50-Cent, right next to the atrocious-song-turned-worse-movie, Toby Keith’s “Beer For My Horses.”

As I flipped through the dreck at the bottom of the bowels of Tinseltown, it began to dawn on me why video stores are a thing of the past. The concept of getting dressed, leaving the house, driving across town and filling out a credit application just to take home a copy of “Larry The Cable Guy Gets Worms” is just foreign to us these days.

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