Lost: Liveblogging The Final Episode, And The Questions That Remain

Posted by admin - 23/05/10 at 04:05 pm

In honor of the final episode of Lost, I’ll be live blogging it here and through Facebook. Refresh the page every few minutes, and we’ll all stay confused together. The final retrospective, along with my unanswered questions, was covered here.

8:00pm – Whatever happens, please don’t let this turn into a Terence and Philip episode.

8:05pm – Oceanic Airlines has finally found Christian Shephard. No matter what timeline you’re in, Oceanic Airlines doesn’t come off very well. They’re the BP of airlines.

8:08pm – Hurley gets to say the Han Solo line…”I’ve got a bad feeling about this.” It’s no “You got a little Arnst on you,” but it’s okay for purposes of foreshadowing.

8:12pm – Hurley collects Charlie. Man, I guess it’s easier to get Dominic Monaghan to do a guest spot now that FlashForward’s been cancelled.

8:15pm – Three of the four other things still alive on the island show up, as Rose and Bernard are revealed to be Desmond’s saviors. Somehow, Vincent the dog is still alive. Time travel isn’t as bad on dogs as you would think, I guess.

8:25pm – Juliet appears in the sideways timeline. Remember when Juliet was one of “The Others,” and she had mad kung fu skills? She could pretty much take down any of the Lost characters, one on one. That went away when she became Sawyer’s girlfriend, I guess.

8:34pm – Holy crap, Lapidus / Kenny Rogers is still alive. Don’t think too hard about that one, kids. Not many people can take an exploding submarine door to the face and still survive.

8:36pm – Faceoff! Jack and Locke meet for the first time with both of them aware of what the other one really is. Nicely done. They can’t hurt each other anyway, why not just talk a little smack?

8:39pm – In the sideways timeline, Juliet is the mom of Jack’s son. Man, Julie Bowen got the short end of the stick here. Luckily, Modern Family has a long way to go.

8:42pm – Jack, Locke, and Desmond find the glowing stream at the heart of the island, which looks like the place where they get the water for Coors beer.

8:46pm – Target airs commercials using Lost’s Smoke Monster and the cursed numbers. That’s how big of a deal this episode is, it’s getting the Super Bowl treatment.

8:49pm – Sayid’s memory gets jogged by Shannon, which kind of underscores the whole “true love with Nadia” theme. Funny, Jin and Sun remembered dying in their flashbacks. Shannon doesn’t remember getting shot by Ana Lucia, because we’ve all agreed to forget that season ever happened.

8:51pm – Claire doesn’t want to go home. There always seems to be a crazy woman on the island at all times. Claire, Russeau, the woman who delivered Jacob and the Baby in Black, then killed the real mother…I wonder if Andrea Yates lived on the island at some point.

9:03pm – Desmond literally uncorks something wicked. Like, with a giant cork. I really don’t like my metaphors so literal. We can tell it’s bad because the light goes from pretty yellow to angry red. This leads to a fight between Jack and Locke, where they both realize they can hurt each other.

9:13pm – Charlie remembers because of Claire, while delivering baby Aaron makes Kate and Claire remember. It’s like everyone needs a constant, like Desmond did with Penny. I don’t guess he needs her any more, since they don’t even know each other. It’s always sad when you outgrow your constant.

9:19pm – Did we really need the Matrix-style, Mission Impossible-esque setup for a Locke vs Jack fight scene?

9:24pm – It seems like we’re having this fight scene about an hour too early, since we’ve still got a lot of show left. Locke, who is now dead a couple of times over, remembers the island. Jack still doesn’t, though, I’m guessing his constant is Kate.

9:32pm – The survivors gather, including Ben, who was irrevocably pinned under a tree trunk in the last scene. We’ve got time for two dozen commercials, but not to show how they got him out of a deathtrap. I’ll bet if he had escaped with the aid of Taco Bell, ABC would have made sure to show us.

9:46pm – Sawyer and Juliet are each other’s constants, even though she’s married to Jack. Yeah, try that one on your spouse sometime. “Honey, of course I was kissing her! It was from a sideways timeline! I had to.”

9:52pm – Yep, Jack’s constant is Kate. Or her little black dress, whichever works for you.

10:03pm – Lapidas gets the plane in the air as the ground crumbles beneath them, thus reminding me of how awful that 2012 movie was.

10:10pm – Please, ABC, I beg you. More commercials. More more more. I enjoy seeing two three-minute scenes separated by four-minutes of ads for Target and Vagisil. Please, keep up the good work.

10:17pm – Everybody seems to be together in the sideway timeline except for Michael and Walt, and Walt’s too old to explain. That’s got to suck for those two guys, puberty pretty much took them right out of the storyline.

10:20pm – So Jack’s constant is his dad? Or his dad’s coffin, actually? That’s fairly creepy.

10:21pm – And right on schedule, here’s the dead dad, walking around and giving out Zen.

10:25pm – So we wrap up with the old “everybody’s dead” trick. But is everybody dead in both timelines, or is the sideways timeline a purgatory, or some other combination?

10:27pm – In a touching moment, Jack lays dying on the beach as Vincent the dog runs up to him and lays down. Very sweet. However, Jack doesn’t realize that at this point, Vincent only sees him as meat.

10:30pm – Cue the credits. Roll the confusion.

Reid Kerr is more than a bit disappointed.

2 Responses to “Lost: Liveblogging The Final Episode, And The Questions That Remain”

  1. Blackhorse Finance says:
    July 11th, 2010 at 11:35 pm

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