Kid Zone = No Creepy Adult Zone

Posted by admin - 23/06/10 at 12:06 am
Everyone shouldn't be allowed around kids

Everyone shouldn't be allowed around kids.

New York has a law against childless adults hanging out in children’s parks. Seems like a good idea to me. It’s like Chuck-E-Cheese not letting you in without a child. It’s a good idea.

“Are you here with a child, sir?”

“Oh, no. I’m just browsing.”

Yeah, we can’t have that.  I don’t have a problem with the rule at all. People who do cry foul, or discrimination, or whatever, just don’t understand that not only do we need to protect our children, but it’s just a sure sign of creepiness for adults to be hanging around kids’ places.

Kids have parks, and monkey bars, and play gyms. Adults have no business being there.

Adults have nightclubs, bars, and strip clubs. Kids don’t need to be there, either.

I’ve been in Barnes & Noble with Pup before, and adults will come back into the kids’ section, sit down, and quite often begin having really adult conversations. Either we leave, or I just spill something on them.

You know, if you feel you can’t adequately unfurl your burdens without plopping your big middle-aged ass down in a tiny chair with a Disney character on it, you should probably hire a skycap to help you with all of that emotional baggage. There are plenty of full-size chairs in the rest of the store, you smelly bastards. Don’t bring your reeking-of-smoke, just-stepped-out-of-a-twelve-step-program self back into the kids’ section to talk about what you’re doing, or who you’re doing, or where you spent last night. When you lay your poor, tired, head down on the table, and it rests on a book featuring Babar, you’re sitting in the wrong area.

Reid Kerr has noticed that Barnes & Noble has relaxed their rules against just laying all over the damn floor.

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