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Posted by admin - 25/08/10 at 07:08 am

Two years ago, I bought my house after a comically long process of house-hunting. Here’s some tips I gleaned from dozens of hours spent walking around houses so awful they could have been from “Fight Club.”

I promise you, all of these are real pictures from real houses that real people really wanted us to buy.

If you’re going to use one of your allotted pictures to show a selling point of your house, you’d better damn sure make sure people can tell what it is.

Would I buy this house? Well, the first thing I’d find out is if the rug goes with the house, or is it’s just for display purposes. Otherwise, I don’t have any idea why I’m seeing a picture of it.

It sure does spruce up that random corner of the house, doesn’t it?

If it’s not something that people would want in their house, don’t promote it.

When I’m looking for a house, I want to see pictures of living spaces, floors, and kitchens. I’m not hoping to find a picture like this, which just screams out “NOW AVAILABLE! THE WORLD’S BIGGEST GNARLED BRUSH PILE! Tangled foliage will convey with a full price offer.”

Again, weird colors should be avoided. If you’ve decided to paint up one of your bedrooms like a big blue Easter Egg so you and your wife can go hoppin’ down the bunny trail all year long, perhaps you might want to slap a coat of eggshell white on it and pretend it never happened.

That’s also a good thing to consider if the previous bedroom belonged to a Washington Redskins fan.

The repainting tip is also a good one if you kept one of your bedrooms decorated just in case Prince wanted to come over and spend the night.

And finally, bear in mind that small decor changes can make a big difference. For example, in the above picture, perhaps a darker curtain on the door by the toilet would give a better first impression of the bathroom.

Not only would it set the room off, but it would also keep the light from shining through the windows on that French door, and also keep me from realizing that toilet sits right next to an exterior door.

That’s really not a selling point for me. If I’m looking specifically for a house with a toilet as the very first thing I encounter when I enter, perhaps I should just reduce the amount of bran in my diet. Maybe eating a wicker basket for breakfast isn’t getting my day started in the right way.

— Reid Kerr likes the house he bought even more now that he remembers the ones that didn’t make the cut.

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