At The Maul

Posted by admin - 03/06/11 at 09:06 pm

I took my daughter to the mall last night to look for…something. Not sure what. Big shopping excursions have that way with me, where I can’t remember why I wound up there, only how much crap I wound up buying.

Going to a mall is already a very strange experience. Malls were such a hallmark of the 80s, many of the surviving ones look like enclosed ghost towns. For a long time, one of the malls near my hometown had an Army/Navy recruitment place in the center of the mall, right in the prime, big money location. It couldn’t have looked worse if there was a “Tumbleweed Repair Shop” next to it.

Anyway, to make the mall even weirder now, it’s become more interactive. As we walked up and down the corridors, the people at the little free-standing shops started trying to pull us in. We were shouted at at try and get us to buy perfume, sunglasses, a credit card, and something that was held tightly in both hands by an irate Middle Eastern dude. I didn’t ask.

The malls are already suffering. The only people who go there are the kids who’ll wear anything with a company’s logo on it, and the Hot Topic mutants. Why not make it even less pleasant for everyone, and allow the vendors to shout and bark their wares like you’re in a Calcutta marketplace?

By the way, while I was there I saw a band setting up to play inside the Hot Topic. In the mall. In terms of selling your soul to the great commercial Satan, that band makes Journey look like Neil Young. The revolution will be merchandized.

— Reid Kerr only needs a mall if the zombies attack.

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