The Sunday Ticket…To Hell

Posted by admin - 18/08/11 at 06:08 am

I love football.

If you’re not a sports fan, please don’t stop reading. This isn’t a sports blog, I promise you.

I am a lifelong football fan, and I learned to count by adding football scores. It’s a family tradition for the Kerrs. Two years ago, I made the move to DirectTV because they gave me the Sunday Ticket for free.

A bargain at half the price, but still overpriced if it's more than free.

If you’re not a sports fan, let me explain. The Sunday Ticket gives you the ability to choose to watch any NFL game, every week. If your hometown team sucks, you can watch another game. If you’re a fan of an out-of-town team, you can see them every week. If you’re a casual fan and you only want to watch whatever team 42-year-old naughty Grandpa Brett Favre stumbles out of retirement to play for, you can watch those games too.

For a sports fan, it’s the equivalent of pulling up in a new BMW and buying a winning lottery ticket while Heidi Klum waits for you in the car with a fifth of scotch and her even hotter friend.

So for the first year, it was free. And it was fantastic. I’m not going to lie, it was the best thing since sliced bread, spray cheese, and free samples at Sam’s Club.

The second year came, and they started billing me about seventy bucks a month for the Sunday Ticket. I called and told them I didn’t want it, and then suddenly they marked it down to thirty bucks a month, which I couldn’t resist. I’m a week, weak man.

Now my contract with DirectTV is up, so I’m a free agent. About every fifteen minutes they run a commercial offering the Sunday Ticket package for free again with a two-year commitment, so I call in to ask why they’re again charging me full price.

Their answer?

“That deal’s not for you, Chester. Sit down and shut up.”

Metaphorically, this is what DirectTV is doing to me.

Okay, I’m paraphrasing a little. They were actually fairly polite about it, but adamant that nobody gets the package for free except their new round of suckers.

My customer service rep actually did the “Well, what if knocked ten bucks off your total?” bit four different times with me, bringing the cost all the way down to…thirty bucks again.

But not for free. Even if I unsigned and signed back up again, I couldn’t get the package for free, as advertised.

It’s not like there are no options for your entertainment anymore. DirectTV, DishNetwork, cable, internet, Netflix, Hulu, Roku, AppleTV, sports bars, semi-legal downloads, YouTube, my neighbor’s picture window…it’s not like the old days when you paid ransom to a single cable company just so you didn’t have to wind up watching the 700 Club every time the President gave a speech.

How is it possible that a company can work so hard to get new customers, while ignoring the ones who’ve been there for years? And it’s not like this is a top secret offer, they’re flooding the airwaves with commercials trumpeting this offer…that you can’t have. It’s a true “Na-Na-Boo-Boo” moment.

It’s like if HBO offered you free channels, but only if you’ve never had HBO before. If you’ve paid full price and sat through their crappy lineup of…well, pretty much everything except The Sopranos and True Blood, you had to keep paying for it forever.

This is like the exact opposite of customer loyalty. It’s like going into the local grocery store where they greet you by name, except now they’re welcoming the strangers and saying “Hello, fathead” to you.

— Reid Kerr missing flipping channels sometimes.

2 Responses to “The Sunday Ticket…To Hell”

  1. Debbie says:
    August 27th, 2011 at 4:57 pm

    If you’re still with DirecTV, ask for their Customer Retention department. They can offer things the regular CSR’s can’t.

    Good luck in your employment quest. I’m going to miss listening to you on my drive home.

  2. Morey says:
    August 27th, 2011 at 6:17 pm

    No more s***. All posts of this quiatly from now on

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