Tijuana, Day Four: Observations on a Mexican Adventure

Posted by admin - 08/05/13 at 10:05 pm

A little while back I took a little trip to Mexico, by way of San Diego. As with all of my trips, it became an accidental whirlwind of unintentional comedy and goofy stuff. Here are some of my dispatches from the road, written on the trip.

PART ONE: AIRPORTVILLE
PART TWO: SAN DIEGO A-GO-GO
PART THREE: TIJUANA TAXI

PART FOUR: OBSERVATIONS ON A MEXICAN ADVENTURE

I knew just enough Spanish to get a sandwich here.

I knew just enough Spanish to get a sandwich here.

  • On my last night in Mexico, we went to a little Mexican restaurant. Or as they would refer to it, a restaurant. Lots of things about Mexico are quaint. Tables with bugs crawling on them, and dirty glasses filled with brownish water are not two of them. Rather than risk the water I had a Tecate, since I never drink those at home. The last time I was offered a Tecate, I was standing in an overcrowded living room waiting on a pay-per-view Manny Pacquiao fight to start.
  • Mexico is a country in need of a good eyebrow waxing.
  • Mexican Coca-Cola is special, something far beyond the sparkly ass-sap we get in the States. Mexican Coke is sweeter, like the nectar of life, except infused with caffeine and suckled from an angel’s teat.
  • If you’re an obvious out-of-towner, taxis will always honk at you. It doesn’t matter if you’re on the other side of the road going the other way and there’s a traffic median between you, and the taxi van already has eleven people and two pregnant women in it. He’s going to try to get one more for the ride.
  • In Tijuana, it’s cool to see a guy who looks like Danny Trejo. It’s not cool to see a bunch of them all at once, though.
  • Some stereotypes are true. Everywhere I went at night, people were watching telenovelas. I mean, straight up focused on them too.
That's actually not much money.

That’s actually not much money.

  • By the way, Walmart in Mexico? You can’t get anything that says Tijuana on it, or even anything from the San Diego area. What’s for sale? Dallas Cowboys and Pittsburgh Steelers gear. Oh, and Angry Birds. Lots of Angry Birds.
  • I really stand out in Mexico. Like, even more so than in America, which I wasn’t certain was possible. Most males here are dark, short-haired, and the taste in fashion runs to darker clothes. Whereas I look like I’m walking around looking for the audition to play Animal in a live-action Muppets movie.

— Come back for the finale of Reid’s adventure tomorrow, where he finds that crossing the border the other way is a lot harder.

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