Reid’s Writing Tips

Posted by admin - 02/07/15 at 03:07 pm

While hanging out on Twitter today (at @ReidAboutIt, of course), I saw some other writer handing out some #WritingTips. I felt like the world should have the benefit of my vast lack of knowledge, and since my jeans were in the wash and I had time, I thought I’d hammer out a few of my rules for newbies.

These are 100% guaranteed to work, although please remember that guarantee is not legally backed up in any way, shape, or form.

  • Remember, backstory and context are important to establish for characters, so always start your book with a murder spree at a family reunion.
  • Try not to write things that make people wonder what’s on TV.
  • If you use social media solely to harass people to buy your book, you risk shunning, plus getting punched in the taint.
  • Non-paying gigs can really help you with exposure, which is what you’ll die of when you’re broke and living under a bridge.
  • If your intro sucks, feel free to use “I was dreaming when I wrote this, forgive me if it goes astray.”
  • Literary agents generally prefer to find their own clients. But not in their backyards, holding a hatchet.
  • Getting a high Google ranking is important for sales, so play it safe and name your book’s romantic interest “Google.”
  • Sometimes it helps to get away from your work while editing, so don’t be afraid to bury it in the back yard for a few days while you go get drunk.
  • If you’re running short on a word count, drop a few dozen “very’s” in there. Editors very love that stuff.
  • You can learn a lot from negative reviews of your work, including which pills you can mix with alcohol and still live.
  • Asking social media followers to retweet things for you often is like asking them to pick you up at the airport. Every day.

— Reid Kerr would like to remind you his comedy novel, “The Great Texas Trailer Park Escape” is available for the low low price of $2.99 at Amazon and Barnes and Noble.com.

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