The Rejection Chronicles: The Forgotten Pile-On

Posted by admin - 16/12/15 at 02:12 pm

Just in time for the holiday season to become totally crushing, I received a rejection email today from an agent I couldn’t even remember sending a pitch to. I had to go back and check my records, it was almost six months ago. It’s a long-delayed “nope,” or perhaps just an early Christmas present. Getting a rejection letter from an agent you don’t even remember sending a query to is like stepping on a mine from the Korean War.

What they said: Thank you for your submission to (Agency). We’re afraid your project isn’t quite right for our lists at this time, but we encourage you to continue editing and querying other agencies.

Thanks again, and best of luck in your search for representation.

What I heard: Thanks for taking the time to send us something, we’re going to respond with absolutely zero thought or effort. Your project doesn’t seem right for our lists. Whatever those are, you’re not right. Our list of authors we represent, list of books we sell, grocery list, list of people we’d loan money to, list of bipeds, nothing.

We encourage you to keep trying, because we find it funny as Hell.

— Reid Kerr sometimes feels like he only has business cards to win dinners from siding salesmen.

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