Archive for the ‘Sports’ Category

My Twenty Years Under Friday Night Lights

16th November 2012 by admin No Comments

After twenty years and more than three hundred broadcasts, my time under the Friday Night Lights is over. I’ll miss it every single Autumn Friday from here on in.


24th May 2012 by admin No Comments

I’ve spent the last five days at the Junior College Division III World Series, which is a lot like the real World Series, except nobody gives a shit. Anyway, I’ve been working the public address system, which means I’ve spent fifteen hour days just announcing over and over again “Now batting, number six, Slappy McStinkerson.” […]

Oklahoma: Definitely Not Okay

23rd May 2012 by admin No Comments

Okay, this is a weird story. And by “weird” I mean “absolutely friggin’ terrifying.” Police now say the shooting spree Monday night in Oklahoma City was not related at all to the Thunder winning their nearby playoff basketball game. You know, if you’re going to try and kill eight people on a Monday night, it’s […]

Dodgin’ The Draft 2012: Good Luck, Bad Luck

28th April 2012 by admin No Comments

My official unofficial NFL Draft 2012 timeline: Thursday, April 26, 2012, 4:15pm Central Time – ESPN confirms quarterbacks Andrew Luck and Robert Griffin III will be the first two picks in the 2012 draft, with ESPN’s NFL analysts saying Indianapolis and Washington have taken can’t-miss prospects and solved their quarterback problems. Meanwhile in Texas, two […]

Make-A-Wish, Take-A-Foul

10th February 2012 by admin No Comments

A Nebraska girls high school basketball team got assessed a technical foul for wearing pink jerseys to support the Make-A-Wish Foundation. Quick explanation, home teams must wear white jerseys. They didn’t. They wore pink ones, which were going to be auctioned off later for the Make-A-Wish Foundation. I’m not sure how much a used teenage […]

The Unofficial Official Super Bowl XLVI Timeline: Occupy End Zone

6th February 2012 by admin No Comments

8:21pm – Motley Crue appear in a car commercial, apparently from a company that never Wikipedia’d singer Vince Neil to see if he had any vehicular manslaughter charges in his past. Here’s another tip, Madison Avenue. Don’t hire Tommy Lee to do spots for your swimming pools, either.

Derek Jeter: International Man Of Signatures

15th December 2011 by admin No Comments

According to a New York Post article, Yankees shortstop and all-around famous person Derek Jeter has broken up with similarly famous person Minka Kelly, and is picking himself up by having sex with normal, non-famous people again. However, his celebrity status has caused a bit of a snag in the separation. The Post is reporting […]

NFL: My AFC Predictions

9th September 2011 by admin No Comments

AFC East New England (14-2) – With the addition of Chad Ochocinco and Albert Haynesworth, Bill Belichick has officially gone from “acquiring talent” to “dumpster diving.” New York (13-3) – The Jets signed Plaxico Burress in the offseason, which is good news for Jets fans. Statistically speaking, Burress is much more likely to shoot someone […]

NFL: My NFC Predictions

9th September 2011 by admin No Comments

NFC East Philadelphia (12-4) – The Eagles look to improve offensively this year by calling that play more often where DeSean Jackson scores a touchdown from eighty yards away, and will rely less on the play where he drops an open pass right in his hands. Dallas (8-8) – Last year, the Cowboys defense set […]

The Sunday Ticket…To Hell

18th August 2011 by admin 2 Comments

I love football. If you’re not a sports fan, please don’t stop reading. This isn’t a sports blog, I promise you. I am a lifelong football fan, and I learned to count by adding football scores. It’s a family tradition for the Kerrs. Two years ago, I made the move to DirectTV because they gave […]

Reid’s Big News

15th August 2011 by admin 7 Comments

I’ve got good news and bad news, and they’re both the same thing.

Dodgin’ The Draft 2011: Cam Gets Cash

29th April 2011 by admin No Comments

The 2011 NFL Draft begins, as Commissioner Goodell welcomes everyone. The football crowd responds by booing him so loudly, it sounds like a Charlie Sheen show.